i will ask you a question
and as you move to answer it
i will start talking
when you acknowledge me
i will ignore it
i am a people person and like to talk to them
but don’t catch me listening
it’s a loveable feature, right?
these things don’t work
they never work
do they work for you?
nah, how do they make it work?
who’s exhausted here?
to those who will not listen
but like to speak
i am tired
dam you
erected mentally
right in front of my face
the tariff is
you shut up
you listen
you acknowledge
i am not a sounding board
am i sounding bored?
your communication is flawed
you will be ignored
as i am
by degrees
what he sees
discounts the globe
lit by the torch of satan’s liberty
stabbed by the penis of osiris
all a masonic conspiracy
red and blue venn diagrams
that orange 33, the diamond
is it instructive thats it’s too much?
i nod my head
smile at the flat earth UN map
i feel like a philosopher king
being told of the cave
the fire, the shadows on the wall
where do you stand
when the world wobbles?
not near the melting ice caps
which are walls at the end of the world
today the stomach churns
i learn how the wheel turns
learning how to centre the car
learning signals
learning the three point turn
i feel good
slow into the corner
opening it up on the straight
matching the speed of the other vehicles
the left turns are easy
i master the right turns
slow over the speed bumps
the intersection’s a little harder
but i make it
two hours of driving done
i really don’t care, do you?
in this post roseanne world look to the conners
dr huxtable was assassinated by bill
and every single male is an incel
and there is a swelling tide of #metoo
or is that the tip of an iceberg?
are we seeing toxic masculinity as the titanic finally?
seems kind of inevitable
i really don’t care, do you?
your life doesn’t pass the bechdel test
old white men carve up the territory
all men are born equal
and then we get their boxes ready for them
you disappear and you reappear
and your life makes little sense from the outside
people talk reductively about you
because they wonder what kind of mirror you are
i really don’t care, do you?
this morning you will be crafting a speech
using bible quotes to justify punishing children
and imprisoning children
you may liberally sprinkle with blame for the democrats
the ration of compassion was used up
on crooked lawyers people living in feckless country
how far can you go before your base wobbles?
how far can you go before your face slips?
how far can you go before it all topples?
a face of amber alert and pouting lips
i’m selling
like pistachios shelling
the things i am smelling
it’s poker telling
i’m calling
freestyle falling
a folded up tall thing
in moments a small thing
i forget where i am
when i forget what i am
not knowing when i am
but seeing when again i am
some places i don’ like to shop
i remember standing, counting out change
for low dollar items
bad food to get through
i moved away from that
at college i almost starved
because i mismanaged money
and had none at points
and studying in london was the same
knowing i would increase debt by my actions
to have money isn’t a sin
though some cling to that idea
having identified a root of evil
but i want to grow a money tree
just so i am never broke
it shames that i can’t place the place
despite the itch at the back of my mind
i offer up hannibal but mean alexander the great
and you add in mother theresa
for a small place it has a good record
and it has the largest lake in europe
and the deepest
and the most beautiful
you know, because you have dived there
north of greece
you speak macedonian
i promise i will read up on it for next time
best food, i should visit
you’ve been here six months
your car is two months old
you are a new american
and me, ten years here, and wondering
who would have guessed heat exhaustion
as the conclusion to the day?
sat there nodding off
as cold as i have ever felt
in florida heat
the blood drains from the face
the stomach swirls and clenches
trying to pick the least gross toilet
to empty myself into
i reach, i retch
and the violence tugs in my perineum
i know i need gentle movement
but the roads here dance around
and my stomach leaves me
before the truck door can open
jacket, shirt, trousers, drenched
and that horrible stench
that promises more
sat on the floor hugging the toilet
this fucking heat
here on this street
i am liquid on concrete
87 degrees
nearly laid out 90
sat next to an iced coffee
that isn’t mine
florida is combustible
lit shine
the burn of time
day events 