acid reflux early morning woes

acid reflux early morning woes
the taste is gross
i’ve been thinking over the habits
and how it goes
that i got overweight, and metabolism slows

i don’t like the way i look
and i hate the way this feels
i feel the energy leach out of me
and wonder how any of this appeals
to a wife who looks a hundred times better than me

i’m wondering about chewing gum
to help my gut
wondering about caffeine for the lungs
or not
sitting here letting it subside

i don’t look how i want to
exercise and diet are slow to work
the lining of my throat, my lungs
when i was forty pounds lighter it lessened
the notches on the belt loosened

i’ve been medication free for a while
but i looked a lot better before forty hit
now i think i sometimes look like shit
i have a better face but the body doesn’t fit
i need to walk more, more than half my day i sit

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notice to vacate

it’s 90 outside
i have a heatsick headache already
that the gatorade didn’t kill
i have the bone deep ache in the hip
in the elbows

i have to go and sign a notice to vacate
this is my second office visit
and again the stupid grin
the aw shucks we fucked up shrug
and the total lack of care

you need to sign the notice to vacate
you cannot take it home to be signed
you need to come in saturday to sign it
it’s not here

and i bite my tongue because
they get asked when we move into the next place
whether we were good tenants
and you have to applaud the irony

and your scheduling

and your scheduling
is not as robust as it should be
a random word reminds
instead of a calendar purposed for that
you breathe a sigh of relief
because impending disaster didn’t happen

you walk outside and an old uber ride
winds down the window and says hello
it’s been a friendly day, kind of mellow
apart from the aggravation of ride scheduling

you look at the planner
at the functionality
but know if you are dreaming
you break the functionality
of anything

cunning and stunning stupidity

watch the ball fumbled
repeatedly
and bite your tongue
until your mouth is full of blood
swallow it down and turn it into fire

the liar
and the idiot
shackled to each other
in their dishonesty

they are dropped bricks in the road
they are missed steps on the journey
you can see them dusty
still trying to kick dirt over the traces
crocodile tears on their faces

flaming the fans, fanning the flames

and if you wrote by the fan playbook
you would be a sinking feeling
you would be a cliche concretised
you would be a recipe book

burn the fans
and surf the backdraft
look to the weirdo in the corner who laughed
put a weirdo fore and aft

break the stories into chunks
we were once the visionary drunks
we were in the coffee shops
we are in the eye drops
we are seashore splash of jazz
by not listening, became the nazz

insomniac reproductions

fight club xerox machine
i don’t sleep much
you should sleep more
some nights i have insomnia
isn’t not sleeping much insomnia?
no
don’t drink so much coffee
i stopped way before bedtime
and it’s a choice between being awake
and uncomfortable and somewhat alive
doing something helps
i never had a problem with sleep
great, and that helps me how?
the clock ticks
the AC’s tics
the cat purrs
the wife sleeptalks
the legs dance
the belly rumbles but food is a bad idea
you get up and do something
and worry about work the next day
coffee

a tired poem

i’m too fucking tired to write anything intelligent
but routine sometimes drives the urge
and there is a routine to observe
i napped on the couch
i’m watching comedy
i caused trouble for people

does this shit make me happy?
yeah, like a leaking fucking dishwasher
that cannot be replaced apparently
just like the sleep i lost
babysitting that machine

my emotions are stacked right
but exhaustion makes them wobble
house of cards, jenga tower
can you taste the anger sour
all of this within your power