mr driver, your mistake is prejudice

mr driver, you were doing so well
and then you asked me
how london could have elected a muslim mayor
and i knew we were on opposite sides of the fence
because
i said
it isn’t a problem
we have different communities in the UK
and he seemed to be a good guy
and was elected from that community

there are things you shouldn’t assume
of a white man with a shaved head
of a certain age
there’s a pattern to my baldness
a pattern to my actions
and none of them suggest
this line of conversation
is acceptable

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how to talk about it

the things you thought you put behind you
the daily things that remind you

you are a man who doesn’t know how to talk
about a kid told not to talk

a man who is told it doesn’t matter
while being told why someone else’s story matters

it’s only an ancient shadow
it was embarrassing

it’s embarrassing to talk about that kind of thing
happening to your kid

let’s make a joke of it instead

quiet ride tonight

quiet ride
spanish language music
you speak spanish, english and portugese
but you don’t talk much

i get sleepy
in the heavy traffic
clouds weighing down the sky
it’s 90 outside

i’m studying tonight
sock in catshit blues
watching field of dreams
and a skynyrd documentary

i’m snacking
happy with the new computer
typing
writing

noodle tangle

i am sat here obsessing on noodles
while reading howl and other poems
thinking about writing the epic of my life
and what would need to be left out
to be published after i die
and secrets that aren’t fit to share come out
and who the fuck will even be reading by then?

uber car trip talk of trump
a shadow cast over all
even the candian who seems otherwise relaxed
but he is an immigrant on state benefits
who cares if he has been here since 74?
just another possible insane law

things turn on a dime
i watch a documentary on the New York Times
i’m reading about British disintegration
wondering about forced repatriation
trying to separate the wheat from the chaff
the bullshit from the laff
and i am not sure what falls into which half

fuck the mushrooms
that there is a use for
fuck the reflux
that tastes like sweet sickly death
i’ll listen to ACDC and wonder about the wisdom
of poking at Trump in verse

acid reflux early morning woes

acid reflux early morning woes
the taste is gross
i’ve been thinking over the habits
and how it goes
that i got overweight, and metabolism slows

i don’t like the way i look
and i hate the way this feels
i feel the energy leach out of me
and wonder how any of this appeals
to a wife who looks a hundred times better than me

i’m wondering about chewing gum
to help my gut
wondering about caffeine for the lungs
or not
sitting here letting it subside

i don’t look how i want to
exercise and diet are slow to work
the lining of my throat, my lungs
when i was forty pounds lighter it lessened
the notches on the belt loosened

i’ve been medication free for a while
but i looked a lot better before forty hit
now i think i sometimes look like shit
i have a better face but the body doesn’t fit
i need to walk more, more than half my day i sit

notice to vacate

it’s 90 outside
i have a heatsick headache already
that the gatorade didn’t kill
i have the bone deep ache in the hip
in the elbows

i have to go and sign a notice to vacate
this is my second office visit
and again the stupid grin
the aw shucks we fucked up shrug
and the total lack of care

you need to sign the notice to vacate
you cannot take it home to be signed
you need to come in saturday to sign it
it’s not here

and i bite my tongue because
they get asked when we move into the next place
whether we were good tenants
and you have to applaud the irony

and your scheduling

and your scheduling
is not as robust as it should be
a random word reminds
instead of a calendar purposed for that
you breathe a sigh of relief
because impending disaster didn’t happen

you walk outside and an old uber ride
winds down the window and says hello
it’s been a friendly day, kind of mellow
apart from the aggravation of ride scheduling

you look at the planner
at the functionality
but know if you are dreaming
you break the functionality
of anything