wing it
always
listen to what your brother says
see what your wife says
eat up what your baby says
you have to live in a dice roll
more than you dwell on the backfoot
embrace it
and they’ll never erase it
because you place it
where it needs to be
you have to see
and be free
i’m an idea on fire
fuck your ashes
fuck anyone that trashes my momentum
moves? i invent ’em
kick flip the bored, no trucks given
you can’t think you’ve been living
and giving a crap
the traps between each synapse like a lapse
waiting for the imminent collapse
i was carried on a wave of fingersnaps
i was lifted by my own ideas
music to your ears
i don’t have time for fears
i don’t have the years
the ship truly steers, where the eyes are looking
where you’ve been simmering, i’ve been cooking
a pome for the missed day
is not an apology
i needed to pause
take an early night
laying on the bed with my wife
and my son
big spoon, little spoon, littlest spoon
love needs to embrace love
you hustle
to get cussed out
but you did something good
so you inhabit that neighbourhood
and you eat that food
and you grow fat on it
because bullshit
isn’t your business
a day that slides by
you have to grab moments
that baby waking and smiling
some cuddling with your wife
a kiss
a task complete
something that feels sweet
a contact, it makes it worthwhile
you have to make yourself smile
migraine pause
under sheets
the hours count away
trying to identify triggers
slowly removing them
getting better
and a burst of energy
and working on cleaning the place
organising my way out of this
with some people
the drama seeps in at the edges
with others it explodes from the centre
you know from the tugged lines
from the impinged upon silence
that a violence is coming
broken glass voice
picking pieces up
it hits shrill
customer service with pinata soul
destruction of others makes some feel whole
but it’s a self-defeating own goal
parachute drop
in before the deadline
a bombing run on the group
that kept it afloat
while you were absentee
demotivating speeches
each time it never teaches
and in slackening moments
where tension eases off
you bull ahead
i bounce off someone else shit on
who thinks i’m about to roll in
and i think maybe the end
is courting me
reminding why i need it
there are questions
that arrive
with more in their hearts
than on their lips
intentions porcupined
behind the back like brutal daggers
a sugar smile
a kinking spine
this is not your conversation
but you are trying to arrive there
you can prattle on unaware
i’m moving on, i do not care
i engineered today
to be sat down
and inside
and cool
but the AC was not set correct
and i began to sweat
so i sent a text
after yesterday’s headache
ballsweat hours of swamp crotch
today was easier
a more comfortable journey
each day it could go either way
day events 