something shiny

we knew normal
the new normal
blue informal
the world dormant
in some regards
rumours spread in backyards
rumours talked of at water coolers
they can only fool us
because we let them
one day we will forget them
these words
breadcrumbs erased by two birds
accompanying the spirit of humpday
strung between thought and memory
ravens broken from the edge of stormclouds
tugging at something shiny

subtitled attention

i need to clear out headspace
for subtitles
they aren’t something i can process
if i want to write
while watching
i am a multi-tasker
but i can’t cheat the film
of attention
gleaning
meaning
from the snippets of a foreign language
i partially understand
is not the way to experience a film
you want someone to immerse themselves in your work
not be a jerk and have it as just another spinning plate

the buried female artists of history

sainting hilma af klint
and every other woman
that changed the world around her
with a vision
that fell into the shadow
of some proud peacock who was afforded the stage

astigmatism of history
the blinded view of art
the segregated heart
the denied mind
and the famished soul

brontes shuffling around inside pseudonyms
the fight of frida
all the singers, all the dancers, all the artists
we need to know what their part is
in this tapestry

musehick

a third of my life as musehick
long past the disintegration of myspace
and abdicating from the writer’s cafe
quieting the writer’s voice
stepping over spoiled ink and the red edit
towards writing, prize-fighting, and caffeine inspired all-nighters

i am a muse
i am a hick
speaking in estuary english
swearing like a trooper
writing in a notebook
or on a computer

early history of porn

i bought one porn mag in my life
i bought a comic to wrap around it
i bought it after buying KFC

the other porn mag i used
was one i snuck out of my brother’s room

when the internet appeared
and there was porn on it
i trashed my thesis on the information super highway
and felt OK that i was a sad lonely fucker

my first sex at 32 was unexpected

tulpalife

the idea of you that they have
that they love
and live
with
is not you and has never been
you have never been seen
because they didn’t want to
because it would have poked wholes through
their lives
which are balanced on the edge of knives
so when you come in
and say see me
they are threatened
and want to kill you
because you are an imposter in the story

trying to deny gravity

i keep putting shit
back in the same place
and expecting it not to get fucked with
like i don’t understand the nature of the beast

willpower is going to win the day
but it doesn’t
and frustration triggers
and offers that your gut
told you so, but …

you keep putting shit
back in the same place
and trying to deny gravity

different

am i special?
special how?
different?
diffident?
decadent?

i care
about you
but not about what you think of me
maybe what i think you think about me
nah

the map for a 45 year old
is a fuck you to decorum
and the self-appointed judges
and a laugh at the grudges
of high school bullies
who think they graduated

don’t mean shit
maybe that’s different

the writeness about the rightness

i’m sketching this
i’m kvetching that
vinegar and piss
the truth of a cat
kerouac back to the time
burroughs back to the time
bradbury back to the time
the end rhyme and the mid rhyme
in the wrong place
in the right place
coming out of the face
and leaving a permanent trace

i want to write and read and live with grace

watching documentaries

watching documentaries about film makers
human centred films
humour filled movies
pieces of art
that start
with a vision
or a collision
or an accident

i love you hal ashby
linked later to linklater
how you date this
how you date that
carbon dating the culture
meat in the beak of the vulture

i am learning lessons
by loving art
pulling myself apart
to find my heart
and start
something special

i have learned to observe
from a fellini learning curve
with a besson verve
the kind of thing you don’t deserve
you love, you luv, you lurve